Letters From Readers: Alyse Ellman

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Every few days or so I receive an alert that I have mail in the Lore and Little inbox. I always open it, curious. The Love Letters project is still relatively new, so when it turns out to be an unsolicited letter I immediately get that, he likes me, he really likes me, kind of feeling. A few weeks ago it was from Alyse. We met in Maui at a mutual friend’s wedding and while Facebook friends, haven’t talked since. Her note made my day:

Because we are Facebook friends, I have the wonderful opportunity of reading your posts and it prompted me to write the letter you will find below. I wasn’t planning on sharing it, I wrote it for me, but there’s something about sending it to you that makes me feel like it may travel back in time and get to my younger self, sort of in a way you would want your Christmas letter to actually get to the North Pole.

I’m all about trying to make magic happen, so whether this letter travels back in time or makes a woman nod her head in agreement, we owe it to ourselves to share. I told Alyse that I truly appreciate her acknowledgment of both our relationships with men and our own bodies. I don’t know that we’re always willing to tackle those head on and we don’t talk about them enough, yet every woman thinks about both.

Thank you, Alyse, for your love letter. I hope it inspires more women to share.

***

Dear Younger Alyse,

First, and most importantly, you make it out alive and not only with a heart beat, but with a beating heart that is full of love and happiness. You should know this immediately. I share this important message with you because I know you don’t think this will happen. You avoid a plan almost certain you won’t live long enough to see it through. You are lucky in that the universe seems to provide for you by putting opportunities within your reach in mysterious and exciting ways. Your job, my younger self, is to listen, be open, and act.

Depending on your current age reading this letter, you will tempt fate and take risks that you should not. You are probably thinking that you will not live to see 30, but you will, at least 43, with no signs of stopping. Please don’t abuse your body and your mind. Both will be so important to you when we get older, and since we’ve already established you have a long life ahead of you, keep those things sacred.

Listen to mom. When you get older, you will actually have a healthy and supportive relationship with her. She will be your rock in many ways that you cannot imagine. Stop testing boundaries long enough to appreciate her. You’ll thank yourself later.

Also, you are not fat. You will struggle to appreciate your body, your curves, your big boobs. You are beautiful and you will be told this again and again. Please believe it every time you hear it.

Be wary of men. This is your weak area. Attention, excitement, acceptance – all things you crave, and lets face it, we always have. You will enter relationships and they will tear you down and you will have to build yourself back up several times. Its ok, its how we learn. But, please, for our sake, protect your fragile heart.

Last, and I know this will come as a shock to you, but your strongest and most meaningful relationships are with women. You will meet and become long-lasting friends with some of the most amazing women who are creative, intuitive, passionate, caring, and you love them dearly. They are your support system and you could not survive without them. Covet these relationships.

Younger Alyse, you have so much to look forward to in life. I can’t wait for you to see that for yourself.

Regards,

(Not So) Older Alyse

soho house

My name is Alyse Ellman and I am originally from New York. I’ve lived in Boston, NYC, Las Vegas, and now Chicago. I most recently left Wynn Las Vegas after twelve years and now work for United Airlines in Chicago. Change is constant in my life and I’ve come to accept that, which is where some of my advice to my younger self comes from. I am single and travel frequently both personally and professionally. I have wonderful friends and a terrific supportive family. I am a lucky girl.

 

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